If you like it then you shoulda put a lid on it

Gisele, Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Alba, and Keira Knightley are a hattrick plus one!

Besides avoiding hypothermia in the dead of December, I once labeled the hat as an excuse for the infamous bad hair day.  Bed-head? Baseball cap; Frizz? Beret; Balding? Yarmulke.  That headwear could actually characterize a style profile, whether Brit Keira Knightley, Brazilian bombshell Gisele Bündchen, American sweetheart Vanessa Hudgens, or American psycho Lindsay Lohan, was, in the words of my favorite cinematic villain, inconceivable!

And yet, in like fashion to the romantic hero of The Princess Bride, I find myself helplessly conceding to the splendor of the Eugenia Kim Maxine fedora.  Cover my long brunette locks with a sequin-embellished fedora?  As you wish.

It’s a must-have that surpasses time and personality, from prohibition and the Great Depression through the high notes of a young Michael Jackson–so symbolically embedded in fashion’s repertoire that it evokes contradictory illustrations, from the trenched gangster to an iconic Gene Kelly singin’ in the rain.  Eugenia Kim reaffirms the fedora’s place in the twenty-first century.

For the gifted, fortune may be the byproduct of an experimental stint gone awry.  This is what separates a genius from the masses.  Kim is indeed far from average.  Take, for instance, the following scenario:

Two months after donating to Locks of Love, the honeymoon was over.  The high of benevolence was (admittedly) selfishly wearing off.  Chia plants make it look so easy!  I moped around with some arbitrarily arranged bun and a superfluous headband, rationalizing that in drawing attention to the obnoxious peacock arrangement on my head that I’d detract attention from my pseudo-bob woes.  Irrationality comes in curious forms.

I am clearly no Eugenia Kim.  Daring to raise the drama meter, when similarly discontented with a haircut, our beloved mad hatter completely sheared off her lamentable locks and replaced her questionable cut with the legendary handmade red guinea-feathered cloche that ignited her authority in the fashion industry.  Yea, that was my next option…